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Today was really dirty. I don't have time to tell you everything in detail but I'll try.
Well so we got in out groups and socialised yeah. and we came up with this group cheer that was like, a variation on the chicken dance, only we said, "I am Toot Toot, I am Toot Toot, I am Toot Toot Toot Ha Ha Ha; I am Toot Toot, I am Toot Toot, I am Toot Toot Toot Ha Ha Ha; I am Toot Toot, I am Toot Toot, I am Toot Toot Toot Ha Ha Ha; 小鸡鸡！" LOL. We won the best cheer award. We didn't get the dirtiest group award cos we were so dirty we couldn't wait until the judging. lol. So just a brief summary of the games...

1. Station Games
i) Chillies and rubber bands! I don't really know the names of the games so sorry... Ok so there was this game where we had to pass a rubber band using chilli padi with the red end in our mouths. we couldn't finish it in time so we had to do a forfeit--eat chilli. Those big ones, though. And R was so nice to bite off one big chunk so that the rest of us wouldn't have to eat. :).
ii) OOhh this was really dirty. we had to throw water bombs to some distance. Well, none of us did it, so we kena-ed water bombs with banana and (soya sauce?). EEWW!
iii) Water bombs again. this time we had to catch water bombs thrown from the second floor. Then for every bomb we caught we had to answer one question. for every question unable to answer one scoop of sambal chilli was added to the box of curry flavoured maggie mee we had to eat. So they asked some questions and I managed to answer one right away because my friend asked it at the funeral ("speaking of funerals". you won't be able to find it there cos i didn't put it there cos its pretty racist.). Then we had to guess the colour of R's underwear and the dif between pi sai and a bowling ball. oh and we also had to guess the two people in band who had curly hair. The first one was like, dam obvious lah. Band major mah, see her everyday. lol.
iv) Map of Singapore. This was even dirtier than ii. It just gets dirtier and dirtier...So 'dear' R volunteered to put the pig heart down his shirt and wear the pig intestine as a belt. Throughout the whole partay I think he was the one most enthu one. and then M had to carry a pig liver with her shirt. EEEWW! there was this mat with drawings and soya sauce? and water and flour? and we (except R) had to stand on it and wherever they told us to put our hands and feet we had to put and R sat down there to direct us. It was really gross lorhh.
v) can't rmb sorry.
vi) four stations. four volunteers. four rhymes to remember. ok cut the dramatic crap. I was one of the volunteers so I had to choose a station and then memorise a rhyme. I chose the pole one because it looked the cleanest. didn't matter because we still got very dirty anyway. First up was R (again), who had to blow a ping pong ball from on cup filled with flour to the third, all arranged with the edges touching the previous cup. the time limit was 100s. The fastest group yet was 102s but we beat them hands down when Ronald blew it. as in, blew the ping pong ball. not the other meaning. lol. it just went straight in. how neat. next up was the tray of flour. (G? Can't rmbr her name so sorry) had to dig in the tray of flour until she found a polo sweet. of course, she had to recite the rhyme first. If I were her, I would have blown the flour away and found it right away but yeah, that's cheating. then it was me! I recited the poem:
2. Treasure hunt
hunt for treasure. Our group didn't find anything. :(. had fun attempting to burst balloons, though.
3. Caterpillar
rows of chairs, rows of people. at first i was standing next to D but somewhere along the way we changed places. lol. I fell down and hit my hip D: boohoo. we came in third.
4. Captain Ball
Sec 1s 2 groups against sec 2s 2 groups. We lost boohoo:C
5. Gossip Session
Not really official but since we lost we didn't have anything to do so we talked.
6. Change
Lol I changed into a yellow shirt and E stood beside me and said, "You're brighter than me" lol.
7. Piano Session
Not official either. JQ played the piano and then he said who want to play play so I played To Zarnakand. lol. then The girls gave me a standing ovation. Not that they had been sitting. lol.
8. Dinnah!
We said the hungry cheer and ate. I had like, four scoops of vege and one scoop of meat. Emdidn't even have meat. good thing I like vege. :]. I helped them put the plates back, not because I wanted to look eleemosynary to them, but because I was starting to feel emo cos I was invisible. I didn't want to stay there anymore and stare at my empty plate and listen to the chatter all around me. How can one feel so lonely in such a crowd?
After dinner we took a group photo. Couldn't really see our faces, though. Good thing. I look bad in photos.
9. Prize Presentation
We won the best group cheer award.

sod the dates again, I was so tired yesterday that I went straight to sleep.
So this is what happened...
Went to Kat's uncle's funeral. told jokes. listened to jokes. laughed. hahaha. I saw one of the girls acting as a bimbo in (un)FOUND and I asked her, " are you a bimbo?" LOL. We went to some playground nearby and played blind mice and Reuben said, "I'm blind so I don't have to close eyes." LOL. we played and played then there was this time where Aaron was the blind mouse and there was this kind of net bridge in the playground and he was crossing it (blind) lol and I was like, hanging on and Ivan tried to tell him to move his hands down to catch me but I got away anyway. lol. After that we played catching and Reuben and Justin were like, dam fast. they kept catching me cos i just stood there cos they weren't targeting me. I didn't think so, anyway. Zoey didn't get caught a lot of times, partly because she kept screaming whenever the catcher came near her. lol. what a good way to avoid getting caught. Then later Peter decided to join in and they were like, are you sure? cos he is the youngest.
Later in the car my parents asked if he had fun and he said, "Next time come again." LOL. No thanks.

Today was really eventful. First there was the chinese test guess what I wrote for number 9.

This is what I wrote for number 10:
Then I went to Nicola's house to bake cookies. It was really fun and we gossiped about the class. Deborah said she wanted to transfer school and Hui Shi and I said we would personally murder her should she really change school. We talked about how spoiled Rachel is. I didn't know she was rich until they talked about her. She always looks so unkempt. Looks can be deceiving :]. According to them, she gets about $100 a week. WOW. That's like, 5 times my pocket money. Did I mention how BIG Nicola's house is?It's like, 3 storeys high and is super nice. So we baked and baked and we made super big cookies but they turned out flat and stuck together lol. There's a fish pond in Nicola's side garden and I let the tinny tiny fish suck my finger and it's so ticklish. Hui Shi tried and we both got a shock. Her because she wasn't really expecting the fishies and me because I wasn't expecting the high-pitched yelp that came from her lol. We made a tray full of dough and it was like a flat piece but we burnt it. D: We were intending to make square cookies. Deborah's mom sent me back. She has a cool car. :D

This is gonna get copious but yeah.
I didn't have enough time to post yesterday so here it is, as it was then.

Morning (@ Home): Woke up, had a nose bleed, almost lost my belt.

Morning (There): Did those vocal warm-ups the leads always do. And facial expression too. Practiced and practiced and practiced and socialised. *Socialising is a very important thing in this community*

Noon: Lunch (mixed vegetable rice *the meat was nice*): Talked to Janelle and she said I was very quiet in groups. Someone noticed! lol. Managed to finish the whole box *I'm so proud of myself* but was super full after that. lol. The other(girls)s said wow. lol. prac-ed some more and then we went to do make-up.

Late Afternoon (When the Devil struck): This is What Happened: A stack of Black Jerseys went missing
A circuit broke so the lights stopped moving
The computer crashed and they didn't have time to run an anti-virus
So we prayed and prayed and prayed and searched and searched and searched and looked and looked and looked and asked and asked and asked and asked ans asked ans asked around and around and around. They got the lights moving and used a laptop (They had a back-up) and the guys wore black tees instead of jerseys. Cool. Nothing can stop us :).
FINALLY it was time and we went into the summit ONCE AND FOR ALL. I saw Lydia and Sonia and Maxine and Jasmine and a lot of other people. Sonia was like, complaining because she's always so tomboyish and then she had to dress like a lady 'cos she's a CH and that was the dress code and she was like, I'm wearing HEELS! lol. I told her not to fall down. I fall down all the time lol.

The EVENT: The doors opened to release scores of people pouring in through the double doors of the summit. ok not so exaggerated but yeah, it was quite a lot of people and I saw Jonathan Kit and he sat a row behind where I was supposed to sit and then Lydia HAD to tell him and his friends to move up then he saw me sitting there and he was like, You're sitting there? I saw Peter and waved and he waved back. We were, after all, camp group mates yeah? I saw David and said hi to him and he, in his quiet way, just nodded to me. :( but never mind, at least he acknowledged me right? :] met lots of new people and old people and they went oh you're performing? as if they expected me to. I got a little self-conscious at the dancing part 'cos Jonny Kit was watching me but I didn't show it. His hair got a bit curly since I last saw him and it stands up lol. I almost didn't recognise him lol. After scene 1, though, we got to sit through the event unlike what they had said about going to classroom 2. :). I think it was pretty good except for the time Joel aka Josh went out of tune. I like I Need To Know. It's Soo cool, esp the chorus:

Finally, we get to Today. The real Today, I mean.

Chan Yeh did some really stupid card tricks. For example, he has this special pack of cards that show any number of any suit at one corner and the 3 of hearts
at the other. But I didn't get tricked. Ha. Another one: this is really stupid. We all Laughed our saliva out. He asked me to pick a card. I put it back in the deck and he put it behind his back. Then he showed me the last card in the deck. (Behind his back, he flipped my card over so that when he was showing me the last card, he was really looking at my card. ROTFL.) so yeah, he picked my card out. We also played '100' and '24' and 'Taiti'. It's fun to play '24' with Chan Yeh, because we win some, we lose some. With Jolin, it's no fun, because she always wins.

On the journey back to Singapore, I started thinking and thinking. Just thinking aimlessly. The I took a mandarin orange and started to peel it. Suddenly I remembered the Chinese New Year celebration in AHS. I remembered the mandarin orange peeling competition. I remembered Shiyong taking part, and I remembered how, in Fengshan, people made fun of him and talked bad about him. Why? For being enthusiastic. For having fun taking part in competitions. Why? Why do people ostracise others for being enthusiastic?

Why: It is strange, how such a short question can cause so much...I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. There's no word for it, only a feeling, only felt. lol. The last part was from 'Why Boys Like Girls'. A feeling, only felt.

Have you noticed? Today's date is purely made up of 0, 2 and 8.

Today was slightly better. I got to play Sims 2 with Jolin. We created Sims to represent ourselves and a mother because we weren't allowed to create a family without an adult. I showed Jolin the cheats for 'add 50,000' simleons. or simoleons. whatever. We added and added until the maximum (9,999,999). Then we bought the biggest house there and sold everything and refurbished the house. Jolin was clearly impressed. lol. She said she had never done this kind of thing before. Throughout the whole process of refurbishing, the most common phrase heard was "不管，我们有的是钱。” LOL. We haven't finished refurbishing, because Asaph kept clamouring for the computer, so we Had to let him use it. I wonder if, now that I'm gone, Jolin will help me play. I told her to. I thought that we could play on Friday, because I didn't know today was Friday. Then I realised how stoning can help you remember less.

We watched Warlords. lol. It's PG13. I thought it was NC16. whatever.

We played 'Taiti'. I felt really emo then, because nobody seemed to care about me, nobody seemed to hear me. I scratched myself with the end of Jolin's comb, you know, that kind of comb with a long, sharp end that's banned in schools? Nobody seemed to see it anyway, so whatever.

一天， 就这样过去了...

I spent the whole day going from house to house:
1) stoning,
2) eating and
3) collecting red packets.
It was quite boring and depressing, since no one talked to me at all. I hate going to Malaysia, 'cos everywhere I go no one talks to me and I feel as if I'm kinda invisible. So I stone.

一天, 就这样过去了...

Sod the Dates. I didn't have enough time in Malaysia to post anything *Sorry Nobody*. lol.
So it was Chinese New Year Eve, and I spent most of the time before 00:00 playing Scribble with Jolin. That is, SHE was playing, and I was directing. After 00:00, well that is another story. Jolin and Chan Yeh watched some variety show on Channel U while I stoned. I think last year was even more fun. lol. We spent the whole night playing Taiti and other card games. I lost quite a bit that night. So that was Chinese New Year's Eve for me.

一天就这样过去了...

Happy CNY!
LOL. Today...Let's see, where shall I start?
Let's start from ACC, shall we?

So it was ACC class and we were really bored. I was, anyway. Then the teacher said we could do anything so we (Claudia, Joven, Gerald, Dave, Natalie and me) played Truth or Dare. lol. The funniest part was when Claudia had to tell Elwin that he sucks. Loudly. So she went up to him and said, "Paiseh ah, YOU SUCK!" LOL. Maybe you don't really see what's so funny but if you really saw it you'd laugh out loud. lol. I had to do a dare where I was to go up to the teacher and tell him that I wanted to sing a new year song. I wasn't actually supposed to sing, I didn't think I was, at least. Well anyway the teacher agreed and I had to sing but somehow I ended up doing the chicken dance instead. lol.

So next came the celebrations. The CO performance was fine, the dance was fine, with a few mistakes here and there, the drama was really funny. Then there was the mandarin orange peeling competition, Shiyong took part. lol. Dr Boon finished first. lol. I thought Reverend Low was going to win.

Then I was supposed to go back to Fengshan but I couldn't find Xin Yu, Chloe or Yi Ying. So I went myself. Honestly, I felt pretty abandoned, but I didn't want them to know. So I went on my own. Strangely, I didn't see them there. They probably lost their way :) Maybe I'll ask them on Monday.

Anyways, I think I shouldn't mix with them anymore. They don't seem to care about me. They never did. Maybe I'll just sit with Claudds and all during the recesses. But I always feel kinda like I'm encroaching on their privacy or something like that. Probably just my paranoid-ism acting up again. I always feel like that in a group where they're all talking and I'm not. lol. Am I paranoid or paranoid?

Today was The Day. The day of the tang yuan making competition. Ugh, I am never making tang yuan again. Talk about 'finger strength'. LOL. Our table was like, so messy. But not as messy as 1B's:) It was quite a disaster, really. A rough sketch of what went wrong:
1) We forgot to bring flour, so our tang yuans stuck together and we couldn't cook it, so we had to throw it away :( pity
2) Ours was messy, disorganised, whatever. The other 'works of art' were so neat, so prepared.
That's all, I guess. Wow. Counting really helps. Now it feels as if it's not that bad after all! LOL.

So we got the prob with the comp fixed. Now I can listen to music! YAY! Don't know how they fixed it. :)

Starting in a new school is hard, but it's different for me than most of my friends. There are some who miss their primary school friends. I don't because I was never really one to get up close and personal to anyone. Most of my classmates have no trouble at all making new friends but right now I'm probably losing my friends. *shit I'm getting emo* They don't care about me anymore and it seems like no one really does. Maybe that's why I stopped talking. Because no one hears me. I guess no one would know that I don't talk 'cos they only notice me when I do. Sometimes I feel invisible, because few people actually notice me. Isn't it ironic how one is sometimes only noticed in the worst of times? I'm not saying that I hate 1A or anything, because if I did I'd hate every single place in this entire world because I don't fit in anywhere. At least my form teacher doesn't noticeably pick on me.

Right, so this has been my life for 6-7 years and few people actually know. Truth is, everyone has a part of them that's falling apart. Some of us feel as if nobody cares, while others feel that they are greatly responsible for some things and therefore feel that they are supposed to be perfect. Some put up a brave front while others visibly fall apart. In truth, Everyone's 'emo', but those who don't seem to be give those who do this nickname to make themselves seem as if they're not. Geddit?

I really want to help others, to let them know that someone cares, that someone understands, because many a time, we feel that no one else knows what we're going through and no one understands, but no one really thinks I understand. They underestimate, depreciate, efface, look down on me. Maybe I'm too good an actress. LOL that's impossible. I know probably no one would believe this is me speaking, 'cos you all underestimate me. All the time.

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