speaking of friends
Saturday, March 22, 2008
I positively hate matthew tang and gang. hey that rhymes. i know i just read passer by's tag but there are some things you feel sometimes that it's just something you absolutely
have to write about and this is it.
I just don't understand why i say so many good things about him. he makes fun of me and says scathing things to me he doesn't behave like that to other people he totally ignores me i hate him i don't understand why he seems to hate me when he says he doesn't maybe he just doesn't like me and i wish i could ignore him but i can't cos my friend wants me to tell him about her. i'm just a shadow, joining him and her. maybe it's claudia's fault for telling them that i liked him but that was a long time ago and it was a just little crush but they don't know that. i know i can't let them know that i know they knew but i don't know why i can't but i just can't. maybe if they didn't actually know but suspected which is quite impossible cos they seemed to know definitely they seemed so confident i would be giving it all away. the game would be over and my life there. i wouldn't be able to survive there anymore. i know they'll just tell everyone and everyone will know and they'll be laughing at me behind my back.
arrogantly, mockingly, snobbishly.
clandestinely, furtively, quietly.
silently, secretly, everyone will remember. No one will forget. it'll be there, buried in the deep of their minds, just like any other incident, but it'll be there. it doesn't take much to dig it up. when they think of me they'll think of it.
I'm just a shadow. a shadow does not exist in the eyes of the world. it is just darkness. darkness cannot exist without light. the shadow is darkest when the light is brightest. i'm just an effaced, depreciated shadow, non-existent in this world.
